Big Blue (10/31/2015)

On Halloween night I moved our baby blue Ford Windstar from the security of our private driveway onto the street in front of our house. This was done for one reason - to provide easy access for our neighborhood trick-or-treaters. Little did I know that my altruistic action would cause deep regret.

We purchased our van in 2003 and it served our family well. We made family trips to many destinations including: the Outer Banks, Ocean City Maryland, and Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. Outside of the occasional flat tire and dead battery, the van never failed us.

One of the beauties of the vehicle was that it seated up to 7 people. This came in handy when I was unexpectedly drafted to transport my son's cross country team to the Bronx in New York for a meet. It was also valuable in moving large items. Three years ago I purchased a large snow blower that we were able to just barely get into the back of the van. I credit that purchase for providing us with a snow free winter that year. Unfortunately that snow blower has seen plenty of use ever since.

We brought our dog Charley home for the first time one year after purchasing the Windstar. Many of the newer pieces of furniture in our house came via the Ford Windstar. When my father had health issues, we were able to move his belongings to an assisted living facilities with the van.

Halloween is often associated with the spooky and mysterious. This night was no exception. Late that night I was awoken to a loud thud. Away to the window I flew like a flash. Tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash (sorry wrong holiday). I looked out the window to see a wrecked car in the middle of the street and our van demolished beside it. We were the victims of late night partiers who had too much to drink.

Three weeks later we finally received the check from the insurance company that would be used for a down payment on a new car. Let the games begin. Below is my encounter with a local car dealer.

Dealer: Hello, my name is Walt, what can I show you today?

Me: We're interested in the GMC Terrain LE. I have a price quote of $24,348 from your website (as I show him a copy of the ad). Do you have the car at this price?

Walt: Yes we do! As a matter of fact you're standing right next to it. Would you like to take it for a test drive?

Me: Sounds great, let's roll.

After test driving the car and having our questions answered.

Walt: Is there a particular color you're interested in?

Me: This silver one is fine. I'm more interested in the price.

Walt: Do you have financing?

Me: I'm approved at a rate of 1.99%

Walt: That's a really strong rate.

Me: If you can come down to $22,000 we do the deal right now.

Walt: (Laughing) No I'm sorry I won't be able to do that. It's already a discounted price.

Me: What can you do?

Walt: Let me run this by my manager and see what we can do. Please have a seat in our lobby and help yourself to some soda and crackers, I'll be right back.

Ten Minutes Later

Walt: Ok, here's what we can do ($26,348).

Me: That's $2,000 higher than the cost of the car when I walked in here ½ hour ago.

Walt: I'm sorry but you didn't qualify for the farmer's rebate.

Me: You mean I need to be a member of the Farmer's insurance company.

Walt: No, I mean you need to be a farmer.

Me: You thought I was a farmer when I asked you the price in the beginning? I didn't see any farms on our test drive. See you later.

The Very Next Morning Day

Phone: ring, ring.

Me: Hello (as I am enjoying a nutritious breakfast of Cap'n Crunch cereal).

Dealer: This is Jim the sales manager. I wasn't in yesterday and just wanted to inquire on your experience at our dealership yesterday.

Me: It was pretty rotten. After I showed Walt (the salesman) the ad from your website he proceeded to jack the price up by $2,000 dollars.

Dealer: We don't want any unhappy customers. How about I cut $1,000 from the $26,348 we quoted.

Me: That sounds fair (Bull).

Dealer: That's wonderful. Give Walt a call and he'll take care of everything.

One Hour Later

Me: Hello Walt. Your manager called me earlier and said he could cut $1,000 from the price you quoted me yesterday.

Walt: Yes, I told him to call you and make that offer (lying sack of Sh##!) Can you come in this afternoon?

Me: (With no intention of doing business with these snakes). Sure, how about 4:00 P.M. (knowing they close at 5:00 P.M.).

Walt: That's getting close to our closing time. Could you come in earlier?

Me: I might be able to get there at 3:30; otherwise we'll have to do it after Thanksgiving. I have a busy week ahead.

Walt: That will be fine. I'll have the car moved off of the show room and prepped. The paper work will all be ready so you have a smooth transaction.

Four O'clock that Evening

Phone: ring, ring , ring, ring (it takes my daughter awhile to relaize the phone is ringing)

Walt: Hello, may I please speak to Ray.

My Daughter: I'm sorry he's not home; he said something about going to look at a tractor.