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Below are letters to my daughter Angela who left for Basic Military Training for the United States Air Force on December 29th, 2020. These letters were handwritten after I first typed them then saved them on my personal computer. Also contained are email updates to close friends and family members. My purpose was to keep family and friends informed and to thank them for their support. I was also trying to encourage Angela. Our contact with her was limited mostly to one five-minute weekly phone call. These calls were often emotional and did not allow us much time to converse. I used the written letter to offer inspiration and build confidence. I do not know how effective they were but on February 18th at 0936 hours Angela passed BMT and became a member of the U.S. Air Force.

12/29/2020 (Angela, Please read this letter on your flight to BMT)
Dear Angela,
Thank you for your service! I cannot think of a more noble way of paying it forward (giving back) than of the sacrifice made serving one's country. I applaud your courage and selflessness. I recall a few years ago sitting with you at the Pennsylvania Drivers License Center while we waited for you to take your driver's permit test. In front of us we overheard a conversation between two ladies. The one expressed to the other what she would do to her son if she ever discovered that he was talking to a military recruiter. After I saw the look of disgust in your eyes, I realized that you had the calling.

I think you will be a success. After all you come from rich stock. Your grandfather (John Boyko) served in the U.S. Army; as did his brother Mike. As you know, Aunt Annie was in the Marines. Both of mommy's uncles served - Carl and Stanley. Of course, pap-pap was in the navy. My Uncle Raymond served in the army and Uncle Al was in the navy reserves. Pap-pap's father fought oversees for the army in World War One. He is your great grandfather. I am sure you have noticed his picture proudly displayed at the end of our hallway. That photo was taken in France. My cousin, Ronnie Desiderio, was in the marines. He was the recipient of a bullet wound during a fire fight in Vietnam. His father, Uncle Frankie, fought in the Battle of the Bulge during World War Two. He was the recipient of both the Bronze Star and Purple Heart awards. Uncle Frankie was a true American hero and one of the kindest men I ever knew. In hero like fashion, he would never speak of his time at battle.

Our lineage goes back much further than the aforementioned. Your Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather Thomas Brown fought in one of our nation's most noted wars - The Civil War. I was proud to take you to the Gettysburg battlefield where we were able to locate his name engraved in bronze on the Pennsylvania monument. Of our many relatives that served in the armed forces none have done what you are about to do. You will be the first member of our family, male or female, to serve in the United States Air force.

I am sure basic training will be tough but nothing in life that is worthwhile comes easy. Otherwise, everyone could do it. Think positive and become the tough-minded optimist. I cannot offer any advice because I never served but I will do it anyway.

"Fly" under the radar. It is better not to draw attention to yourself. If you get knocked down, and you will, get up fast. When partaking in a drill never give up even if you have difficulty completing the task. They do not want quitters. Your instructors will be more interested in your determination to complete a task rather than whether you actually complete it. Some drills are designed for failure. Keep trying no matter what. Make your drill instructor tell you when to stop. The first year that I played football I noticed that when an older player did not do a drill correctly, he immediately stood tall and said, "let's do it again!" The coaches liked his determination and he gained the respect of his teammates.

Do not be surprised if your instructor lectures you on something that does not seem relevant. Pay attention! He may be testing your discipline to pay attention. Be prepared for a written quiz on his lecture. When asked a question offer only one of three answers; "yes sir, no sir, no excuse sir". For example, after shining your shoes to perfection your instructor may question why your shoes are sloppy. Your answer would be, "no excuse sir!"

I am sure on your first few nights you will miss being away from home as we will miss you. Each day this feeling will fade until you have assimilated into military life - and you will. Have no self-pity. This is for losers and you are a winner! Remember Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." You will continue to be in my prayers.

You have the ability to make this a greater world. I wish you well and will leave you with the words of a wise young lady, "Have faith. Believe that you are strong enough to beat the odds when they are against you. Know your worth! You will do great things. FLY, FIGHT, WIN, AIM HIGH! Go Air force.

12/30/2020
Dear Angela,
I really miss you. At night I keep expecting you to abruptly spring from your bedroom, phone in hand, heading for the powder room or kitchen. As I am laughing at the Honeymooners, I am expecting to hear your voice exclaiming "Dad can you please."

I forwarded your contact information to family and friends. I quickly received a response from Uncle Steven saying that he would write to you. I will probably hear from more people soon. I also sent a letter to Sgt Stamm's superior officer telling him how happy we were with Sgt Stamm. I also sent a letter of thanks to Sgt Stamm thanking him for all of his help.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve. We are supposed to get heavy rain so I will stay inside and watch football. Speaking of football, last night I watched the Alamo Bowl. It was played in San Antonio. During timeouts they aired commercials showing different sights in San Antonio. It looks really nice. I hope they give you an opportunity to see some of the sights. My favorite country singer, George Strait, lives in San Antonio.

I called my Uncle Ray in Hawaii last night. He is very happy for you. The rest of our conversation consisted of me listening to him preach the bible. I have a few questions. If you are busy you don't have to answer them.
How is the food?
Have you made any friends?
How many people do you live with?
What color is your uniform?
Did they cut your hair?
Do you go to church?
I hope you have a happy new year. I think 2021 will be your best year. Do your best. We are all very proud of you.
Dad

12/30/2020
All,
We would like to thank all of you for your help and encouragement over the last twelve months. Your kind words, well wishes and prayers have been invaluable during this process. Angela has asked that we notify her family and friends after she departed for Air Force service.

She arrived safely In San Antonio late Monday night. For the next eight weeks she will be in basic training where she will gain confidence and acquire the skills that will benefit her for years to come. During this time, she will not be receiving emails or text messages, however, written letters are appreciated. Again, we would like to thank all of you for your support. Attached is her contact information.

12/31/2020
Dear angela,
Years ago, before your mom and I were married we decided to partake in a whitewater rafting trip. This sounded exciting at first. I had never done anything so adventurous and was really looking forward to our trip. On the day of the trip, we had to rise very early because we were scheduled to go into the water at sunrise. The drive to the Delaware Water Gap was almost two hours so we had to leave my house by 0500 hours (like that). When the alarm clock sounded that morning my first thoughts were, "do I really want to do this?" I was tempted to go back to sleep and forget the whole thing. I quickly abandoned any ideas of pulling out when I thought of how fun and exciting it would be.

When we arrived at the Lehigh river the sun had just risen. There was a mist hovering over the water. I can still remember when I first stepped into the river to get on the raft. It was mid-September and the water was ice cold. I asked myself what was I doing here? I should be home sleeping in my nice warm bed. I immediately I regretted my decision to go on the trip.

The ride down the river was long and challenging. At some points the river ran fast. There were rapids to negotiate and we got stuck on many large rocks. At one point a member in the group was tossed off the raft and was stuck helpless in the water. His name was Moses (not that Moses). I relied on the instructions that were demonstrated to us before the trip to lift him back on the raft. Boy did he look relieved. We all worked together and finished the trip.

Looking back, I am glad that I completed the rafting trip. It helped me learn how to work with a group, follow instructions and test myself physically. I was able to partake in something that most people would never attempt. It was a challenging trip but most things in life that are worthwhile do not come easy. There is a picture of our rafting party on my website under the Ray tab and Vintage Ray link. If they ever give you your phone back you can look at it.

1/6/2021
Dear Angela,
We all admire you for what you are doing. The latest member to join the Angela fan club is my cousin John Santarone. You met John at pap-pap's funeral. He is Reno's oldest son and pap-pap's godson. He said that he will keep you in his prayers and asked that I let him know how you are doing.

How was your New Years? Did they let you do anything special? New Years eve was just me and mom. Juliana went to Tim's. We had turkey soup for diner and it was pretty good. New Years day was just me and mom again. Good thing we like each other. I watched a lot of football. Most of the games were pretty good. However, I was disappointed that Notre Dame lost.

Saturday, we took down the Christmas decorations. It's nice to have our living room back. Our neighbors still have all of their Christmas lights up. I don't know what they are waiting for. Also, the rock from Cousin Dennis finally came. It is a blue marble color and it is not really a rock but more of a ball shape. If you make a circle with your middle finger and thumb you will see its size. I put it on your dresser in your room.

Monday, January 4th they opened restaurants and gym. I went back to the gym yesterday. Juliana was my guest. The guy that works behind the desk (you talk to him sometimes) said that before I bring a guest, I need to register it on their app before I come. He did not know what to do when I told him that I am the only man in America that does not don't use a cell phone. I think I am going to drop my black card and just be a regular member. Juliana can get her own membership.

Mom and I used her gift card to purchase a new comforter and sheets for our bed. The one that we replaced is over 30 years old. I don't even want to think about what kind of dust mites may have been living there. Have a wonderful day!

1/6/2021
Dear Angela, It was nice to hear from you this evening. We did not expect your call. When they said you only had 5 minutes they weren't kidding. It sounds like they are working you pretty hard. Remember a good part of your training is seeing how much you can take not necessarily how well you perform in a particular drill. Other than track you never really participated in athletics so you are not used to this type of training. I suspect many of the other recruits had played sports and are more accustomed to this type of training. You will get better as time goes on.

When I was in high school, I tried out for the football team. I really was not big enough for football and would have been better off going out for the track team. The first night they gave out equipment; it was very disorganized. I did not get home until 11:30 P.M. and we had to be on the field for 6 A.M. practice. This meant I would only get 5 hours sleep. We practiced 3 times a day in the heat of August, 6 A.M., 12 noon, and 6 P.M. The week pap-pap was working the day shift was the worst because I had to take the bus home. My bus was called the 20 and its route was Academy Road to Holme Avenue then the Boulevard.

I was tired and soaking wet. I began to take a nap dreading that in a few hours I would have to report for the noon practice. When I awoke from my nap, I was shocked to see that the bus did not turn onto Holme Avenue but was about to enter the I95 highway headed for Center City Philadelphia. In my haste I had hopped on the wrong bus. I got off just in time but then I had a long walk home. When I arrived home, I was tired and hungry. I quickly ate a banana and went to sleep until it was time for the noon practice.

The 3 weeks of football camp was three of the toughest weeks of my life. Every day was hot with coaches yelling and hard practice drills. After our last practice I was called into the coach's office with 4 other players. I thought the coach was going to tell us what his expectations were for the upcoming season and how much playing time we would get. Instead, I was told that I was cut from the team. They could only take 40 players and they had 45. I was devastated.

Coaches do not like to cut players. I later realized that part of the reason our practices were so tough was because they were trying to make us quit. Although I was upset that I would not be on the team I held my head high because I would not let them make me quit. Looking back, I am glad I went out for the team.

I do not think that you will get cut like I did. Stick it out and you will be well rewarded. Most important; just do your best.

Good night it is time to watch Dark Shadows.

1/7/2021
All,
My apologies for not reaching out to you on an individual basis but as you can imagine my distribution list has grown considerably. We were surprised to receive a call from Angela last night. Her squad had earned a privilege so they granted each of them a 5-minute phone call. When I say 5-minutes I mean right down to the second. It seemed as if her sergeant was standing next to her with a timer.

It was an emotional phone call; she is having a difficult time. However, she is sticking it out and working well with the other recruits. Surprisingly, she has become accustomed to the early wake up calls. I guess she has no choice. She also said that the food is very good.

She asked that we thank you all for your letters and words of inspiration. They really do help. For those of you who have sent text messages please know that she will not be able to access them. The only way to contact her is the old-fashioned way - simple pen and paper. Don't forget the stamp. Her address is attached.
Thanks again!

1/12/2021
Dear Angela,
I have always wondered how actors and actresses remember their lines; whether it is a major production like Phantom of the Opera or live TV shows such as The Honeymooners or Dark Shadows. I could also include the plays that you did at PACS. I imagine that instead of trying to memorize all of your lines at once you instead broke them down into small pieces. You probably memorize the smaller pieces until you can recite the line. Then you build upon each segment until you have perfected the entire script. I think if you apply this same method to your drill marching you will soon master the drill.

John McCain graduated last from his class at Annapolis. However, if you look at it another way, he was ahead of all of the people who did not have the courage or determination to enlist. Because school came a little harder for McCain and he had limited physical ability he had to try harder to accomplish his goal.

After graduation John McCain became a naval aviator. At first, McCain was a sub-par flier who wrecked two planes and collided with power lines. He was not a good pilot. This did not deter him. He continued to practice and improve his skills until he became an excellent pilot.

During the Vietnam War, McCain's plane was shot down during Operation Rolling Thunder. He was captured by the North Vietnamese and was a prisoner of war until 1973. Despite episodes of torture and physical injuries that would remain with him for the rest of his life, McCain would not give in to his captures. You see McCain knew that the other prisoners looked up to him. If he submitted then they would likely follow. John McCain was trained by the U.S. Navy and U.S. Navy men as well as Army, Air Force and Marines do not give up.

As you continue with your 8 weeks of basic training remember that John McCain was a prisoner of war for five and a half years. He would go on to receive the Bronze Star, serve in the U.S. Senate for the State of Arizona and win the Republican nomination for president of the United States in 2008.

After reading your letter I decided to do a few push-ups. I could only make it to 12.
Have a great day,
Dad

1/12/2021
All,
As the Angela fan club continues to grow, I am more than happy to update the email distribution list. Replies are welcome just click on the "Reply" button not "Reply All." If you have any questions or comments that you would like answered directly or messages you would like forwarded to Angela, I will be glad to take your call. Unless I am eating a jelly sandwich, reading a comic book, taking a nap, or playing with my toy trains.

We just received our first and second letters from Angela. The first was dated on January 3rd so it looks like it takes a while for the pony express to make its way out of San Antonio. The second letter was dated January 8th. She is home sick and misses everybody very much. Night times are especially difficult. She describes her experience as the "hardest week of her life". We learned that she is only one of a few active-duty enlistment men. Many of the others are reserves and have completed ROTC training. This might explain her early difficulties especially in drill training and cadence marches. Her second letter reinforces how much difficulty she is having, especially with drill marching.

Over the holidays we were visited by a couple of her friends who are active-duty marines. They painted a vivid picture of life during basic training and ensured us that Angela's feelings are normal and quite common. This should pass as she assimilates into the military life style. It is a drastic change so it could take a while.

Your cards and letters to Angela are greatly appreciated. I have attached her address. This attachment is easier to read than the version I sent in my previous email. I will continue to update you as I receive new information.

1/15/2021
Dear Angela,
We received a bit of bad news. Tim's grandfather died last week. Because of Covid the funeral service will be private. Of course, Juliana will attend. Speaking of Covid they are classifying his death as due to Covid ignoring the fact that he had cancer, a broken back and other serious ailments. Mom and me sent them a plate of cookies and a flower arrangement.

Turns out you are not the only one that has water leaking into the laundry room during a shower. It is occurring when Juliana showers as well. I am going to remove the panel to expose the pipes and see if I can find the leak. I hope I do not have to cut open the wall. That is a messy job.

Just this minute as I am writing this letter Juliana called. She was rear ended at Byberry and Worthington Roads. No one was injured, just minor damage to the car.

After reading your letter and speaking to you on the phone I get the impression that basic training is difficult and you are having a tough time. I think to be successful in anything you have to make yourself do things you don't want to do. That is what basic training is all about. Your drill instructors are teaching you that you can do much more than you think. In a few weeks when this is over you will be pleasantly surprised at what you have accomplished.

Many years ago, there was a man who was having a tough time. He lost his first job. He started a business which ultimately failed. The girl who he was in love with died. He ended up having a nervous breakdown. He decided to run for public office and was defeated. Through all of this turmoil he never gave up. He continued to run for public office and lost many more times. The man simply would not quite. Ultimately his persistence paid off. You have seen this man many times. His face is proudly displayed on the copper penny and five-dollar bill. In 1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected as the 16th President of the United States.

Getting knocked down is no disgrace, staying there is.
Keep up the good work. We are all very proud of you!
I hope today was better than yesterday and tomorrow will be even better than today.

1/21/2021
Hello Everyone,
For those of you who are receiving my email update for the first time I apologize. You were not forgotten I just messed up the distribution list. After 34 years of working in IT you would think I could figure this stuff out by now.

I have attached a picture of Angela in basic training from the Air Force website.

Yesterday was Angela's third week in basic training. We have been told that the first two weeks are the most difficult. Its not that the training gets any easier after that but you become more accustomed and have developed physical conditioning. I think it's going to be alright and the worst is over now. The morn' sun is shining like a red rubber ball (name that tune).

We had our first lengthy conversation with Angela last night. She is doing much better. During the first week she was having "buyer's remorse". This is a common feeling and has since passed.

Thank you for all of your kind comments and concerns. Since she has enlisted, we have received a myriad number of questions that we could not answer. I have some answers now and have included a Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) section below and will update as time goes on.

Next week is Angela's birthday (January 26th). In addition to regular mail, she can also receive messages through an application called Sandbox. The advantage to using this app is that she gets it much quicker. It cost $3.25 to send a message. Juliana uses it to send her daily bible quotes and it has worked quite well. I have not used it because I am too cheap to pay the fee and I don't know how to use a cell phone. The instructions are listed at the end of this email.

1/25/2021
Hello Angela,
Happy Birthday! I am sorry that we cannot spend your birthday with you but you have moved onto bigger and better things. I will be sure to have an extra serving of cake tomorrow on your behalf.

I hope you are feeling better. I had a similar experience over 30 years ago. At that time, I used to swim laps at the YWCA. One Saturday afternoon I ate a banana then went swimming. An hour later I had the most severe stomach pains I ever had in my life. It was so bad Pap-pap had to take me to the hospital. The doctor gave me medicine that cleared it. I have not had that problem ever since. I hope this is behind you as well.

Tonight, we are going to get a storm mixing rain, sleet and snow. I am not that worried about it since no one has to drive anywhere. Otherwise, the weather has been pretty good considering that it is the middle of January. To prepare for the storm I cleaned out the garage and was able to park the blue car in it. Of course, I had to put my trains away or maybe I'll just move them into your room. Just kidding!

I hope you have a great day tomorrow!
Dad

2/1/2021
Good Morning Everyone,
Normally I send this email later in the week but I am sending it now because there are some new developments and I have nothing to do this morning now that Cartoon hour is over and it is snowing outside.

Angela has made it to week five and is more than half way through BMT - or is she? We received a call from Angela notifying us that her entire group has been placed on quarantine. She is now sharing a small room with another recruit. This could last for ten days. The good news is that she has not tested positive for Covid.

Due to the situation, she was allowed to facetime us. This is the first time we actually saw her since she left with the exception of the picture I attached in an earlier email. We have noticed a change. Physically she appears stronger and she does seem to be maturing. However, she did tell us how she spilled two cups of juice in the chow line in front of the MTI. Somethings will never change. She has also shown us the stack of mail that she has received. It is quite impressive. She pointed out specific parts that have inspired her. I told you these letters help. Thanks again for writing to her!

She is making progress. She can now complete an "about face" perfectly and has improved in her requirements training. The MTI screams of "Get in step, Pascali!" are decreasing. Attached is a completed scrabble board using words of inspiration that we forwarded to Angela. You might notice that we cheated a bit.

2/9/2021
Dear Friends,
We last heard from Angela last week around 7 P.M. while we were reading. Angela was anxious because Monday she was scheduled to take her PT test and worried, she might not pass. She asked us to pray with her so we did.

It is now week 6 a very critical week. We have not heard from Angela so we will go with the no news is good news theme. She did pass her weapons training. She can now assemble and disassemble an M16 rifle. How reassuring. Even more impressive is that she also passed dress inspection and is proficient in using an iron. Maybe they will teach her how to do dishes.

Week 6 is BEAST week (See FAQ for definition). Outside of week 1 it is probably the most important and certainly the most intense. So as not to get too much into the weeds you can break out the popcorn and view this short video. It is only 6 minutes so you might want to use Jiffy Pop. Just paste this URL into your browser to view the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qklNqneg7cU.

No need to send any more letters. BT is almost over and we will soon learn the conclusion.

A strange thing occurred when I returned to my book. I came across an interesting Bible quote. It was from Matthew 18:19, "If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them."
Thanks for your support!

2/15/2021
Happy Presidents Day,
We last heard from Angela last week. She had just completed BEAST week and was physically and emotionally drained. She still has a few more tests ahead of her. Whatever the outcome please pray that she is able to accept God's will. Make that double for me. The only other information we have is that it is 10 degrees in San Antonio. Normally it is 75 degrees. Other than that no news is good news.

Over the past several weeks many have asked us why she choose to join the military. This quest began a few years ago before she graduated from high school. Her answers were that she wanted to see the world, move out of her neighborhood and be on her own and please her grandfather. These were the answers of an immature high school girl. They were the wrong answers.

Early last year Angela made another attempt at military service. This time her test scores qualified her for the United States Air Force. She enlisted last June and waited patiently until she was called into BMT on December 29th. It has been a long and difficult eight weeks.

No need to send Angela and messages. The dramatic conclusion is fast approaching so stay tuned. Same Bat time same Bat station.

2/16/2021
All,
I have received several inquiries concerning Angela the last two days. We still have not heard from her but as she nears the end of BMT she is probably receiving her best training. A message from the commander at Lackland was posted. They are in the dark - literally. San Antonio is receiving record low temperatures with snow and ice causing major power outages. Members of the 320th Training Squadron (Angela) have been re-located. They are having issues with water and sewer. Welcome to life in the military. Time to man or woman up. Time for me to return to my book - The Power of Positive Thinking.

2/18/2021
Dear Friends and Family,
The reoccurring theme of many of our email updates has been that no news is good news. This morning we have news to share.

Today at 0936 hours Angela Pascali passed Basic Military Training and was promoted into the United States Air force. Please join us in saluting Airman Angela Pascali.

I have kept my promise and have done my best to inform you on her progress. As this chapter ends another one begins. As a matter of fact, it starts tomorrow when she leaves for 65 days of tech school training. However, now that the restrictions of BMT have been lifted there is no need for me to continue with email updates. Feel free to contact Airman Pascali directly.

Pictures will be posted of our Facebook page as we receive them. If you have not already done so please feel free to like us on Facebook. We will always like you.

We would like to extend our thanks for all of your support. I'm sure by now you realize that these updates have been as much about informing you as it has been therapy for me. Thanks for listening!

I am now able to sleep more peaceful at night and no longer have brandy before bedtime. I now drink whiskey!